enter fruitsblogsket, where blog meets fruits basket, one of my favorite anime titles. FruitsBlogsket is my personal fansite dedicated for Fruits Basket. You'll read my blog, find avatars, wallpapers, read the Sohma diaries, discover what Tohru and the Sohmas are doing and many more. Fruitsblogsket is an experimental fansite. Feel free to check the site.
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I've told my parents how I feel in life. I don't know if they understood me when I said that I'm depressed. It's like that I wasn't taken seriously. Maybe because I don't bear any resemblance to a person who's depressed. Maybe because I really don't look like I'm depressed. Instead they tell me that I always sleep a lot. Do they know that it's a symptom? I don't know if they're reading this. Frankly, I'm sure my friends and my family don't read anything I write. I write because it's my outlet. But I've been writing a lot and I've been beating around the bush to saying I'm depressed. I'm depressed that I really couldn't care about what's happening in life. I just want everything to stop. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. My brain is burned out. I want to sleep. I'm looking for peace. I'm longing for rest. There's gotta be more to this life. I've been my material vises, but I couldn't satisfy myself. To be honest, I'm just pushing myself to go on. I'm pushing myself to go to work. With just my sheer determination, I get up from bed so I can go to school. What I do doesn't matter. I'm losing my balance. If not, I'm probably on the ground now. Maybe, just for the sake of continuing with life, I should numb myself. At 4am, I'm breaking down.
Wednesday evening was epic for me. After work, I just decided to chill out and browse the Internet. And then I opened every Facebook game I have and played until 11pm. Just before Thursday was about to start, I came here on FruitsBlogsket to check out if I have any new message. And then at the top of the messageboard, I read the Econ1103 Exam 2 - March 1.
I laughed in disbelief and opened my course webpage. It confirmed, March 1 is the Econ1103 2nd term test! How did I miss that? It's probably because I didn't go to school this past Tuesday, but I crammed like crazy until 3AM!
I didn't know I have an exam the next day!
Sigh. I was able to study whatever. Chapters 6-10, I crammed. The exam wasn't that hard, but I would've been crying on my desk if I didn't study at all. I also wouldn't know my reaction if I casually entered the room to find out that my instructor's handing out an exam sheet. Wednesday was fun.
Also, Discrete Math. I've been dreading my Discrete Math term test because I didn't finish it. 45 minutes to write an exam is absurd. I really thought I was failing that course. And I don't even want to talk about the two homework I submitted. But when the professor returned our test paper, I couldn't believe my mark! A B+! Then A for my 1st homework and a B+ for the second homework. I tell you, I was an inch away from dropping the subject this past Wednesday. February 29's the last day to drop without penalty. I'm glad I didn't.