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For two days, I've done nothing but sleep.
I see a trend here. It's like I'm getting back to those times where I don't want to do anything.
That's the spirit!
I just want to stay put. Are these signs of depression? I hope I'm wrong, because I'm not really depressed. Uhh... am I? No. I don't think so. Maybe I'm just lazy. Or saturated with business. All work and no play. The funny thing is, when I begin to play, I don't get any enjoyment from it. There's this looming feeling of gloom and concern. Look what university and work have done to me! I can't properly have fun anymore!
Wednesday was just exhausting. I decided to sleep in on Thursday, because I actually overslept. When I woke up, I thought, "Whatever." and I went back to sleep. I'm a bit concerned about missing out, but I don't regret sleeping in. I've been here before. I've done this and that before. It's embarrassing. But this is the life of a working student. I have to work. No work means no money. No money means no school. Gasp! I should stop working! Unfortunately, no money means no food and no videogames. Anyway, I want to have a high paying job so I have to go to school. But man... The fees! Can't they reduce the fees?! The fees are nothing to sneeze at. Imagine: $1500 one swipe from my account. It hurt me. Let's not forget the books. $400. Wow. And now I'm sleeping in. Sigh. There's just... ugh. My inner Holden Caulfield is just messing me up again.
At least my poster racked up at least 9% of my HR course. My professor said that my poster was the best, and she also took a picture of it. We were told to make a poster about ourselves advertising our qualities as members of a group. In short, I made a poster why they should 'hire' me in the group -- or why they should let me join in the group. Group work is important in my HR course and I decided to go all out on this poster to get as much points before the midterms. I'm glad my professor loved it.
Okay, I'm glad that September's almost over. I'm not really a fan of September. I'm excited about Christmas, I have a feeling that this year's Christmas will be very different. Wow, October's almost here. Speaking of October-- contrary to popular belief, I'm not excited of my birthday. Haha.
I don't know about you, but I've already started my Christmas list. It gives me somewhat of a boost to work. There's a lot of items on my list, and without money, they'll just be as they are-- items on my list. But I'm confident they'll be mine. For one thing, I guess it's time to buy a new laptop. I mean, my dinosaur laptop couldn't even run two tabs with my antivirus updating -- it'll hang. Playing Facebook games is out of the question. It's frustratingly slow and my DVD-drive keeps ejecting (hardware issue). I don't want to spend money adding RAM to this thing. I need a new laptop. For school too.
But let's not talk about school.
I feel tired. It's that time again when I feel exhausted and I couldn't talk to other people because of it. I don't know what else to say. But I'm somewhat happy right now. It's just that I'm working on stuff too much that my leisure time gets stretched too and I lose my sleep. Last two Saturdays was intense, but there wasn't much yesterday. I'm very glad there wasn't much work. I woke up 11:30AM, got to work, because they adjusted my start time to 1pm. I worked until 4:30pm. I was relieved to go home. And we fetched my uncle's girlfriend at the airport bound from Japan. Then there was celebration, some karaoke, and food. Sunday, I'm just... out. I don't want to think about anything right now. It's 10:51AM and I'm going back to sleep I guess. Even though I just finished two major projects at school and at home, there's this looming feeling about my upcoming group work for my Human Resources Management course.
For me, I find more and more reasons to continue blogging despite that I'm getting extended thin from it. Here are some of my reasons why I blog what happens in my life or why I write in general. These reasons might become your reason too if you plan to start a blog in the future or some encouragement as well with your blog.
First, writing serves as an outlet when I'm stressed. Whenever something bad happens, I write it down because it relieves me. Out of all the outlets I have, (such as sleeping, playing videogames or drawing) I feel better fast after writing. Whenever something good happens, I write it down because I want to describe the joy I felt. As a sidenote however, I tend to be sensitive about the people who were involved in my story. Even if an incident upset me, I never mention any name. What's important is getting something bad out of the system or learning the good from out of something.
Second, a blog is fun to read later on. I can't remember everything that happens in life, so I have to write things down. A blog serves as a way to preserve the emotion behind the story. Similarly, when I write something, I tend to forget that entry as the days pass by. I mean it's priceless fun to read something funny that you wrote and forgot; it's very refreshing. It makes me somewhat proud too that I was able to pull of writing such an entry. At least it's interesting to me.
Third, it can help other people. Some people are able to relate to my stories that they even send me email about this or they make a comment about that. I post my problems online too and whenever I find a solution afterwards -- at least I think it's a solution -- I post it too.
Fourth, it reflects my growth. Life is full of hurdles. Everyone has problems of their own. I want to reflect on the hardships and the difficulties of the past. I want to savor the moment how I was able to overcome those hurdles. Redundant as it sounds, I just want to emphasize it: Tenacious perseverance is the key to success. Without it, even talent means nothing. Reading my past entries makes me realize that it's amazing how far I've come.
Fifth, I want to be a novelist someday. Writing a blog serves as an exercise for me too. Besides, I want to write a coming-of-age, slice-of-life novel in the future. Since I blog, I pretty much cover the same genre. Love. Life. Growth. Struggles. Pain. Joy. So on.
Sixth, my life slowly makes sense. It's easier to connect the dots as to how my life is unfolding from reading my past events. I'm able to draw out the reasons why some things had to happen. Difficult times occur because life becomes boring when it's all easy; I wouldn't be able to learn anything.
Seventh, writing is a lifestyle. Writing has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. I like it how I don't cringe whenever a professor asks us to write a multiple paged report. I like it how I prefer to write before I sleep. I like it how I would stay awake because all of this imagination is speaking out loud in my mind. I like it how I jot down interesting objects for my story. I like it how I'm able to write a song whenever I feel happy, inspired or angry. I like it how I want to write a funny story. I like it how I could write a fanfiction because the original story sucks. Writing is a lifestyle. I don't want a part of me to cease growing.
School starts again. All of a sudden my to-do list gets stacked. We were already given our first homework for Bus-2440, Human Resources.
1. Buy the required books.
2. Buy a cartolina for the poster. + Materials.
3. Submit the needed papers to the bank.
4. Add more content to the family project.
5. Post the fall and winter due dates.
6. Get advising at school.
7. Go over Academic outlines.
8. Buy drumsticks.
It's ironic but I guess I'd be frequently updating on my blog from now on. I get a lot of things to talk about during school and writing is an outlet for me to relax.
Oh yeah, before I forget, if you have a PS Vita, the Youtube App has been released. Just download the free app from the PS Store. Now, I'm waiting for the alarm clock app for the PS Vita.