enter fruitsblogsket, where blog meets fruits basket, one of my favorite anime titles. FruitsBlogsket is my personal fansite dedicated for Fruits Basket. You'll read my blog, find avatars, wallpapers, read the Sohma diaries, discover what Tohru and the Sohmas are doing and many more. Fruitsblogsket is an experimental fansite. Feel free to check the site.
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The lectures are over. 3:30AM. Here I am in the kitchen, with a bowl of soup, and my laptop on the dinner table -- also playing 10000 Reasons by Matt Redman. Another term closing to an end, and getting closer to that double degree.
It's fine. Everything's fine. We got this. I'm pretty confident about these exams. Once again, December 8 onwards will be one exhausting week. December 8, OB exam. Then December 9 and 10, I have work on the evenings. December 11, Tuesday will be my Political Science exam. December 12, Wednesday, work again on the evening. Thursday break -- whew. December 14, Friday, my final final exam (Human Resources). And that's about the right time to pay my tuition... aaargh! Let's just say that I could've bought a 60" flastscreen TV with that money.
Gasp. I just realized: it's the last day of November!
The screenshot above shows my -- I lost count-- my next website. I've made significant progress on my next anime fansite. The style will house two anime titles: Sakurasou no Pet na Kanojo (kinda' like Love Hina) and Say I Love You (Sukitte Ii na yo). It'll feature a new style of worldplay and roleplay meshed into. I haven't picked a title yet for the whole project and when that's done with, I'm going to launch the site. *fingers crossed* Despite the amount of progress, the release date is pending. There's still a lot of things to finish-- meaning my final exams. Doi. Headache.
Finally. Final bound. It's been a less emotional term for me. It wasn't that depressing- haha- but it wasn't that pleasant as well. I'm just eager to finish them properly. As you can see, my finals are posted here and it's fine that all of them are on December. I'm just concerned a little bit about the December 8 exam, because I have work on Saturdays. Whatever. I'm not real worried about it. I mean, if I miss it, it will only cost me 50% of my grade for that subject, Organizational Behaviour. I mean, the opportunity cost is worth it. So even if my manager doesn't let me off that day, I'd still be getting an F -- F for fine.
Or the F-word.
I don't want to think about the final exams yet. I still have to get past my last class, November 27. I thought that my last class would be on the 29th. Afterwards, I can have all the Skyrim and games I could get. I mean, I'll probably just be studying the night before each final exam. I'm so smart and efficient. That way, I'll be able to get as much pleasure and review as possible out of my break time. Kidding aside, I don't get it why I'm not interested in reviewing early. Maybe it's because of my complacency. Or maybe I'm just lazy. We'll see what happens.
Has anyone written their Christmas list yet? I have mine. It's actually listed inside my head. But I finally have my first complete drumset ever. Yes, considering that I started playing the drums when I was 9 years old. It's not so bad that I have one now at the soonest -- at the age of 25. Unfortunately, there was no Youtube yet to record my mad skills of drumming at the age of 11. I still can play my mad skills. Actually, until now, I play the drums like I'm 11. With my awesome skills, I'm sure my neighbors won't complain. After all, music soothest the savage beasts.
Christmas will be very busy for me. There'd be lots of venues to attend. I mean lots. I basically have to keep a planner with me. Furthermore to the hectic schedule, I've been tasked to handle two responsibilities to our clan reunion / Christmas party. They're planning to make it real grand and so yours truly needs to step up and represent. If everything goes according to plan, I'll be playing my drumset like a mad 11 year old there when we'll sing Christmas carols. It would be fun. Not funny. But fun. The problem is, we're missing out a key member: the singer. I tried singing and playing the drums before -- not cool.
On a sidenote, as mentioned and announced on my other fansite, I am interested in building a new fansite. No further detail is available yet, but I have a working layout for the homepage. It will also sport its own theme for roleplaying. I always include roleplay when I create an anime fansite. I wanted to create a fansite for Hoshi Wa Utau, but I'm not sure if it's still ongoing or if Natsuki Takaya sensei decided to scrap it. My latest addition to my web portfolio is the Euphoric Field fansite. Also since I'm an aspiring novelist or a short-story composer, I'll be sure to make my own website portfolio under the pen-name Sam1 or Samone.
Like Samone wrote a novel, but we don't know who wrote it! *cough* SOMEONE wrote a novel... but we don't... yeah... whatever. Not that anyone would care.
As I grow up, I learn some big words like escapism, quarter-life crisis, and soul searching. In the past, I didn't know the threat of depression nor thought it was a big deal. In the past, I was clueless what identity crisis is. Now, I shake my head wondering why it's hard to enjoy the things that I enjoyed in the past. Is it because of the looming fear and anxiety riding at the back of me -- the concerns of my future?
The world. From a child's eyes, it's different; they see a playground full of dreams. From a teenager's eyes, the world becomes a mystery; they become curious of the possibilities of life. From a grownup's eyes, the world reveals itself of reality; rigorous life.
I feel like everything's a mess and I'm always getting tired of the long processes behind things. It's not that I'm lazy or anything, it's just that this busy-ness is straining me. That I don't have time for myself. In effect, I tend to overconsume any 'free' time. In most cases, by the time I finish my work, it's already late when I come home, I stay up to unwind myself, wake up with blood-shot eyes, go to school, go to work, rinse and repeat. Instead, I make time for myself, and so there are times that I skip school and do poor in some exams because I need to relieve myself of the monotony.
Right now, my head is in such a mess. I messed up my priorities and I messed up my schedule. But I had 'fun' these past three days. I guess I'm neither satisfied nor dissatisfied. I need a clear direction and I know how I'd get there. It's just that-- it's physically and mentally exhausting to get there. It's not easy. I hope that this week is going to be okay.